my older sister just bought my younger sister the o'reilly factor for kids.

this single, isolated incident is just a microcosm of how the entire world is against me.

I love rainy days more than anything. I don't know...something about the gray sky is just screaming at me and telling me to be nostalgic and morose. Anyway...I was going through my music, and I listened to a song that I hadn't heard since I was in Paris. My reaction was definitely pathetic and overly emotional, but it helped me make the decision that I'm leaving the states once I graduate.

I also finally decided on my major: Foreign Language.

either that, or something involving etymology or anthropological studies of the way language develops. I don't know what they'd call that... I'd like to focus on romance languages...but middle eastern languages would be fascinating too.

What am I going to do with my life? I still have no idea. Probably nothing.

But I know I'll have an amazing time being dirt poor and travelling the world while the majority of people I went to school with are in ivy-league schools becoming doctors and lawyers and making far too much money.

Yes, I guess I'm partially jealous that I didn't have all the money in the world handed to me. I've been extremely bitter towards everything; I've been far too wrapped up in the lack of financial and emotional support that I've had from my family. 

But, I don't think that I regret it anymore.

I've definitely had to do a lot myself, but, I keep overlooking everything that I do have.

I have a chance to do something with my life. I think somewhere inside me I have the drive and ambition to create a good life for myself. I'm really scared for the future, though, and part of me just wants to hide from everything I have to conquer to get through all of this. I think everything is going to be okay, but I'm still so angry at myself for constantly failing everyone's expectations.

Enough of that.

 Il faut que je fasse mes devoirs. Et, aussi, j'ai besoin d'apprendre quelque chose...comme tout le monde.

Anyway, here are some long overdue pictures from my trip. I'm counting down the seconds until I get to go back.